Who I am, the real me

I am not who you really think I am. Maybe on the surface, I am a sweet and innocent young girl. But inside me there's a whole lot more. I am very ugly inside sometimes, but I don't care. I get mad over stupid things, but it's how I feel. I am a jealous, self centered bitch who loves the attention. I am jealous of girls who are prettier then me, so I pay attention when they are around my love. If they touch him or even try something, he knows I will cut their throat. I am angry inside, very angry. I have a sense of hatred towards many people, people who are not worth my time. I love to fight, it's something I desire. I'm just waiting for something to erupt so I can pounce and kill. I have no way to control my anger, it is some type of disease. I see red and can't remember much, only what I am told. I feel like I drift into another world that's red and black, and I don't know what I am doing. I don't know my own strength or when to stop. I will only stop if I see massive amounts of blood or if the person is not breathing. If someone says something wrong or looks at me wrong, I automatically do not like them. I don't fear much, only the idea of death. I love to race even though it's illegal. I refuse to drink or even to drugs. I don't respect anyone who has that problem. I also believe that any girl who drinks, becomes drunk, and gets rape deserve it. They should pay the consequences of being out of their mind. I love anything kinky, and I love anything sexual. But I am not a whore, nor do I sleep with the whole god damn world. I hate girls who disrespect themselves like that. I am a strong woman, very strong. I was built that way by my mom. She taught me not to put up with male dominance. And to keep them in line so they don't walk all over me. I have been hurt a lot in my past by breaking down this barrier. So I have learned so much, more than a lot of people experience. I am dying inside because of loneliness. I do not mean by boyfriend girlfriend loneliness, I already have that. The way I mean it, is I want to have someone I can call my best friend. I want to be able to go out and have a girls night or do girly things. This is something I don't have because all the girls I have been friends with in the past have fucked me over. I yearn for this type of relationship. I never truly had a best friend. But for some reason I can't make girl friends like that. Hence why I have resorted to being friends with all guys. I feel so ugly inside, even thoug I don't care. I have a low self esteem. I was always made fun of in high school by my classmates. They always called me fat, ugly, threw food at me. I was the outcast that nobody liked in my grade but I made friends with guys in other grades. I have always thought I was never good enough or any part of me was good enough. But eventually I realized, that nothing makes them right and who are they to judge? Yet after I realized this, I still have this low self esteem.

It's scary to know of this ugly side of me. But it's how I am, it's what I am, and who I am meant to be.

Belly Of The Beast

There are many points in my life where I have felt enraged, angry, or about to kill someone. So I wrote a poem.

The three of you ganged up on me that night
Entering into a fight,
that was not yours to battle
Your first slapped me across the face
hoping that would be the end
But instead I went flying into the air
and clawed you to the ground with me
As I kneeled above of you
I began to punch your face in
The anger and adrenaline rushing through my veins
I couldn't stop
All I saw was red
Your next warrior jumped on my back
I thought it was my little sister
trying to tear me off of your first
so I didn't hit you yet
But your turn was still going to come
I continued to keep hitting the first soldier
until I saw blood
Sweet, beautiful, rosy red blood dripping from your mouth
In the back of my mind I was laughing
Your final warrior jumped on my back
holding on for dear life along with the other
I feared she was hurting my sister
I jumped up, ripping their bodies off my back
Smashing their little bodies to the ground
I wanted more
I could taste the fear and hate in my mouth
Ready to attack again, I went to pounce
But someone grabbed me
Took me in their arms to stop me from killing
He held me tight so I couldn't get out of his grip
but I proceeded to kick and punch
I was able to get one more good kick at the girls stomach
and grip of anothers hair
there was no way in hell i would let go
I kept pulling, yearning to rip her hair out
but the guys yelled at me to let go
unsure of what was happening
I listened and did what they told

I was put on the side walk away from them all
Needed to continue
Needed to fight
Needed to kill
So to unleash the beast in me I went to this metal truck
I repeativly bashed my fists into it
I felt no pain, my body was numb
I stood alone
still wanting to kill
but I was calm
The numb went away
and my body filled in pain
Blood dripped from my knees and arm
Must have been from the ground
But as I stood alone
I stood as a winner
I was the winning warrior

That poem was the events that took place in a fight. Three girls decided it was their day to fight me. It resulted in a lost for them, a gain for me. I am one psychotic bitch when I fight.

YAY ANOTHER WORK STORY....my life is that boringgg

ANOTHER WORK STORY. It seems like this is the only time when something exciting happens in my life. So yesterday, I went to chamber ensemble after class which is until 5:30. He let us go at 5 so I rushed to my job to go talk to my manager because we closed at six. I needed him to change my hours for Friday since I'm scheduled to be there at four and there is no way in hell I'm going to be there for four. Now Mike said we are going to be back by 3:30 but I don't want to chance it if we get back around four since we probably are not going to leave at exactly three and make it back at exactly three thirty. So thinking in terms of that, if we do get back between 3:30 and four, there is still the ride home on the southern state which at that point there most likely is traffic since it's a friday. So I won't get home til about 4:30/4:45 then. So I asked one of my bosses (not the creepy older one) if I can come in at six so that way when I get home from everything I can just relax for about an hour and then get ready and go to work. Well, he gave me the biggest fucking problem yesterday and started bitching at me about it. He was like "Why do you need to relax?, it's not my problem if your class is going to the city, blah blah blah." At the point I just wanted to punch him in the mouth. I know for a fact spending the whole day in the city is going to tire me out since I am not used to it. I never really go to the city at all or even for a whole day. I think I did go once for a date and I passed out on the train and the car ride back to my house. So I know I am going to be exhausted and sitting in traffic on the way home is going to make my mood worse. I don't see what the big fucking deal is if I came in at 6 to work until 9. I mean yeah, it's three hourse of work but the have me come in for an hour and a half tuesdays and thursday and work me all fucking weekend. I only have Mondays and Wed. off because of classes. So I really don't get much of a break between school, work, and cleaning out my basement since we are getting it redone. There's never just a momment where I can slow down from anything and relax except for in the morning before class which doesn't really help. My manager is such a fucking asshole. I do so much fucking shit for them and it's tiring me out. The one day I just need an hour to relax for a bit and slow down they can't fucking give it to me. It's fucking ridiculous. Sorry if I'm cursing so much but I'm just so angry at them that they can't give me any leeway. It's a good thing I am getting laid off soon. They I don't have to see/deal with their shit until next season.

Ugh that was a good relief of anger. =)

My Favorite Things

Okay, so in the first picture I have my lap top, my cell phone, a mixer, and the body of my flute. I don't know what I would ever do without my lap top nor would I be able to access this site. haha. Anyways it plays a huge roll in my life and also is a way of communication where I can talk to people around the world on things like msn and Aim. I love being in contact with different types of people in different places. My cell phone, is my means of communicating with my boyfriend and friends all day and everyday. I would die without my phone. I also have the mixer back there because I LOVE TO BAKE and also cook. I make everything homemade like cookies and brownies and such. It's one of my favorite things to do and really helps relieve stress. Now I have the body of my flute there, which like stated in the previous blog I love my music and I love to play.

The second picture is a picture of my baby Elle. I love this car more than anything. Even though she gives me such problems and I feel like I should sell her sometimes, I still love her. I love to just cruise around in her and work on her. Like I have red neon lights inaide the car, I have my system, I have a cold air intake in her, obviously the rims, I am putting a new exhaust in her, and I am getting the rest of the windows tinted. I love my baby.

The third picture is my ring that my boyfriend gave me. I treasure this ring so much. It is a symbol of our commitment to eachother and our love so this ring means so much to me.

Inspiration

Now I don't recall ever mentioning my passion for music. I absolutely adore music, especially playing my flute. I have been playing since fourth grade and never really thought I'd actually play throughout high school. In eight grade, I always would see the high school band performing and would think to myself "Psh I don't want to be THAT nerdy!" With the horrendous uniforms and the stupid little poof thing on the hat, I would hate to be caught dead in that thing. When I moved up to high school, I didn't realize that two of the best band teachers would move up with me. Mr Ingenito and Mr. Warnokowski had been my band teachers in middle school. I never really gave much thought into music or anything like that because I was at the stage where I wanted to wear fishnets and skateboard. So as I began high school, things started changing a bit and I grew up. Now I sucked it up the first half of the year for marching band with the "ridiculous looking uniforms." The other half of the year was symphonic band which was a lot of fun. We always played awesome music and always had a good time. The same went through the years to come, and then senior year came. I never really realize how much I looked up to these two men who I saw everyday, ninth period, Monday thru Friday until then. I began hanging out with them on my off periods, and actually began to get involved. I became section leader during the first half of the year for marching band and I loved wearing my uniform. I felt like it was such an honorable thing to be wearing this since not everyone is talented enough to play.

I began to realize how not only these two guys were amazing teachers, but how they were both phenomenal musicians, best friends, and more like family. The band was like one big gigantic nerdy family that had this kind of bond that no club, or group or team could ever have. I became so close to Ingy and Warno and they are the people who taught me what music is really about. They had been around for six years teaching us the life of music, pushing us to do better and never letting any one of us in that band fail or quit.

These two teachers are the biggest inspiration to me. They have helped me so much with growing up and being the best flutist I can be. They are the people that have made me continue to play and be so passionate about music. I honestly don't know where I would be without them or what I would have done if I had different teachers. They are both truly one of a kind.

The Old days....

So last night I was watching home videos with my boyfriend and family and started remembering what it was like to be a kid. There were videos of pumpkin picking, birthday parties, block parties, Halloween parties, and parties in class. The funniest thing last night when was my family and I went pumpkin picking, I must have been about five and m y little brother must have been about three then. All he kept doing was falling every three minutes or so. It was hysterical. But it really got me thinking about how I miss being a kid. Even though I love being free and living my life, driving, and all the responsibilities of being an adult I wish I can sometimes turn back time. I miss being pampered by my parents, doing a ton of family things, and not having to deal with such harsh obstacles. I look back and think "Wow life was so much easier." I miss childhood friends the most too. When I was younger, four of my best friends and I were INSEPARABLE. It was my friend johnny and his sister Jess, a girl named carly, a girl named kristen, and me. We would do evverything and anything together; we'd have sleepovers, spend days and nights together, go everywhere together, and were even close in school. Eventually when we all hit high school, we alo went out seperate ways. Since Jess and Kristen were older, they graduated; Jess went upstate to college and has a female companion, Kristen goes to NCC and is pregnant. Johnny, Carly, and I all graduated together but Johnny went upstate to RIT and Carly went to Stonybrook. We all lost contact and I really miss them. We had a lot of good times. This just goes to show you how much life changes over time and it makes me kind of sad.

Then again who knows what's in store for the future....

Beach video

I made a short slideshow of my pictures from the beach. =)

Another work story...and other ramblings

Okay so since I have to get this off my chest and I feel like sharing it with the world, I'm going to rant a bit. My main manager at my job is such a jerk; I can not freaking stand him. I really think he suffers from bi-polar disorder since his mood will be up and happy at one moment, and the next he's all pissed off at the world and bitching at everyone. The first thing he did was he bugged out the other day because my boyfriend and I were going to take break together, which we didn't even plan. At first he went to send me on break but being that I was there from open to close and another girl was leaving at like 4, she asked me if she could go. Now I didn't take my car to work, so I had no way of getting home for lunch or going anywhere so I let her go and decided I was not going to take a break. My manager told me I had to so I decided to then wait. Now he sent everyone on my boyfriends side of the store on break and left my boyfriend last. He eventually told him to go and I decided to ask him if I could go since I didn't go yet and it would be a good opportunity since I didn't have a car. He started bitching at us and yelling about how we can't take a freaking break together. What the fuck is the big deal? Anyways, I let that one go and blew it off only to find out that he let this one guy and this one girl go together on break. The reason being for this is because he's overly obsessed with this girl whose only 19 and like hits on her all the time. He only yells at my boyfriend and I, not anyone else. He's such a jerk sometimes.

The next thing that he does is he bitches at us to do work when we fucking work all god damn day and sells so much shit for him. He bitched at one of my co workers and I to pack shit out when I fucking spent the whole god damn day packing shit out and running back into my isle to sell. He's ridiculous. He will also come over to the isle to put something back and hand it off to us when it's right fucking infront of him. God it just irks me so much when he does that. He's so nasty sometimes that I just can't take it. I am literally drained from this job. I love it but it's killing me. I have no voice left from constantly talking to people and helping people. I work from 8:30 to 6 and half the time barely ever take a break. It consumes my entire weekend because all I do is work, and sleep. I actually had time to go to a freaking haunted house saturday night which was surprising. Ugh I can't stand it.

I also want to freaking blow up my god damn car. I can't take it anymore. I got the god damn stupid thing fixed and there's still something wrong with it. I'm starting to think god hates me more than anything and wants me to be miserable. All I want is to have a nice car and to cruise with it but that can't happen. Instead of spending money on a nice knew exhaust I had to buy a god damn water pump and belts for 400 dollars. Stupid car. I think I might just spend the 600 dollars to swap out the motor and maybe pop a honda motor in there. I don't know. I just hate it.

You know what else bothers me? When people's parents constantly bring them down because they don't realize how wonderful there kid is. My boyfriend's mom is like this. She seems like a nice woman but she constantly brings him down and tells him all the time how she wishes she never had children. She also favors his brother whose two years younger than him and think he's the greatest thing in the world. Now my boyfriend does have his flaws, everyone does, but he's such a good person. He's so smart and he does amazing in school, he doesn't drink or do drugs or anything like that, he works all the time to make money, he cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes care of his younger brother and sister, stays in shape, knows how to treat a woman, and does everything for everyone and anyone. He, in my opinion, is the perfect guy that could ever walk the face of the earth. Yet she continues to put him down, she doesn't see how wonderful he is. And I really wish she would.

Roar enoug hranmbling. NEED SLEEEEEEEEEEP AND FOOOOOOOOD

Questionssss

The Questionare

1. What is your favorite word?
My favorite word has to be the word spectacular. It just puts me in such an uplifting mood.

2. What is your least favorite word?
My least favorite word has to be the word c*nt. I believe that is such a degrading word and I hate when people say that. I think most girls have to agree with that one.

3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Being with my friends, family, boyfriend. Also working at Island Rec and being at the beach. Plus hobbies like cars, video games, yoga, etc. As per creativity/ spiritually, it would have to be here at my house when it's calm and peaceful (when the wild animals known as my brothers are not running a muck)

4. What turns you off?
Annoying people, people with boogers hanging out of their nose, long toe nails/finger nails, people who are compulsive liars.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sounds of water running like from the shower and also the sound of the engine of a muscle car.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Car alarms, my brothers annoying voice, and when the dogs continuously bark at nothing.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Probably the word shit. Only because it reminds me of tourettes guy screaming it, and because you can substitute it for practically anything.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would actually like to maybe try and work right now at a restaurant, in the future I wish I could maybe become a ballet dancer.

9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in?
An exotic dancer. ha

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Turn around and go back to the place we call Earth!" or "I have a nice, refurbished, 69' Chevelle waiting for you. You can go as fast as you'd like!"

A Haiku

Water dripping down
rays of light pass through the steam
these damn bug bites itch

This was inspired while I was in the shower this morning =)

Close Connection

One of the biggest influences in my life is my mom. She is not only a mom to me but also my best friend.Throughout my life she has helped me along through all of my problems and all of the obstacles that I needed to overcome. She has taught me everything I know, and given me advice that I always will carry with me in towards the future. She has also been my inspiration to become a psychologist because she had done to me for what I want to do for people; to help anyone and everyone and give them all the advice I can. At this point in life I don't know where I'd be without her. She has always been the one to let me stay out later than curfew, spoil me rotten, and allow me to fall back on her when I made mistakes. We have had our differences and our fights but with all of that aside, I admire her more than anyone. She is what has kept me going and pushing me to succeed in life. I love my mom<3 =)

My life...

These are my angels<3 My two dogs. The smaller one is missy and the larger one is buster, boo, or bear. I have had bear for ten years and missy for a year. I love these dogs so much<3











This right here is the love of my life. We are soul mates and I would be so lost without him. He has made me into the person that I am today, and he has made me realize the more important things. We are pre-engaged and in a year or two will probably be engaged and get married after college. What we share is true love.

This right here is my best friend James. He is also my technician and works on my car with me. He's the person I learn about cars from because that is his passion. He's a technician for Honda so he works on cars all the time. He's probably the only one that would do everything he does for me with my car, like work on it for four days straight haha. I've known him for about 7 years now and he's like an older brother to me

Class assignment

These are all of the pictures from class. I have to admit it was a lot of fun. The best was when Megan and I took the mirror shot in one of the bathrooms, people looked at us like we were crazy. It was hysterical. =)

Pool chemicals and more pool chemicals. Unleasing my anger =)

Forcing out the weirdness in me. One of the things most people find weird is as stated one day in class I LOVE MY JOB. It's like a second home to me. Most people normally go to work and dread going there but I honestly love it. I love helping people and helping them fix their pools. I have a lot of knowledge in this field and it always feels good to hear people compliment me on this. Therefore, it's my favorite place to be in the world. But one thing I absolutely hate is the extremely nasty customers. Like tonight, for example, one woman comes in ten minutes before closing. Now everyone's tired, everyone wants to go home and we were working our asses off the whole day to get ready for the big sales we are having. So she comes in and walks over to me while i'm stocking gallons of winterizer and says "I need the stuff to close my pool" So I asked her whether she had an aboveground pool or an inground and she had an above. So I told her the two chemicals she needed and she looks at me and starts bitching at me. She started yelling saying that she called the 1-800 number (which is filled with people who like to lie because they get enjoyment out of) and told her she could come in and get a kit for $39.99. So I asked her if she was a VIP and she said yes. So I proceeded to tell her that the two chemicals she needed would cost only $35. She still continues to yell at me about how she hates the store and how she wants to blow it up and blah blah blah. So I walked away. I can't take that shit from people ten minutes before closing when i'm freaking exhausted beyond all belief and just want to go home and blog of course. What I don't get is A) if you hate the company and want to blow it up then why do you come in and get all your pool shit from us and have us close your freaking pool? Why don't you go to some other store and close it yourself. Is it because you aew to damn lazy to get off your fat ass and do something? and another thing I don't get or letter B) is how someone can come into a freaking pool store and be so nasty to an individual who is trained to help and is answering your pathetic questions? If you want to bitch at me for your reasons then don't come over to me and ask me for help. I don't get what gives a person the idea that they think they have the right to come in and be so freaking nasty. Do they think they are cool? Do they think they are more special in any way? I don't get it. God if I was ever nasty like that to anyone who worked my mom would smack me in the back of the head and ask what the hell was wrong with me. I guess it's an italian mother kind of thing but I would still get ridiculed. God it just irks me that people always do this. And ontop of that, she went to get a winter cover and the manager helped and she was all sweet and nice to him. I just wanted to go up to her and smack her in the face.

I'm too nice of a person to be nasty to anyone, I really am. My boyfriend who also works there keeps telling me I have to stop being so nice to people. And it's true, I am sick of letting these low lives walk all over me and I'm sick of being nice and helping them to the fullest.

Okay that's enough of my thoughts for tonight. This blogging thing really helps with anger. I think I found my new psychologist =)

Unleashing my spirit; a creative side that many think is not creative but is to me

So last night I was watching Ghost Hunters, which is one of the best shows in the world. The episodes I had on DVR were awesome episodes which contained many different paranormal experiences. Normally with Ghost Hunters, they debunk everything that goes on instead of making up a bunch of bullshit like other paranormal shows do. Therefore, sometimes the episodes are really boring because they don't have any experiences. So last night during one of the episodes, they were in a small museum in Buffalo (I forgot the name) which was previously a funeral home. Now, every time TAPS (the name of the association) goes into any type of place to find any paranormal activity, they have the owner lock the door to make sure no one can get into the place and screw with the investigation. Now the owner of this place did as instructed, and she had locked the front door as she was leaving. Two of the female investigators who were in the hallway were looking at things (since it is a museum) and began to do a personal interview. As the investigator was talking, the front door opened and closed. The ran over to the door and opened it with no problem. During a replay of her little interview, you actually see the door open and then close. Now how is that possible when the door was locked by the owner? It was actually really creepy. Then during the same episode in the museum, two of the male investigators found a ladder and a small hole in the ceiling which led up to the attic. As the were investigating his room, they heard footsteps up in the attic which were actually really clear and very creepy. So one of the guys goes up the ladder and sees a shadow near the small window in the attic. The shadow then charged forward (unfortunately it was not caught on tape). He then ducked down and the other investigator went up. He also saw this figure. For video they then sent another male up and they concluded that their is no way anyone could be walking because the floor only consisted of beams. The investigator, walking across the beams, tried getting the spirit to make nosies again but nothing happened. He then started cursing and yelling at the spirit to try and get it angry enough to do something but nothing happened. During this whole session, he was recording EVP's. EVP stands for Electronic Voice Phenomenon which captures voices of spirits. Later while they were looking at evidence it was found that during this session, a voice said clearly "Leave me alone." This gaves me the creeps all night and got me thinking. Is their really another life after this? Are their really earthbound spirits who cannot find their way to the light? If this is all true, what do these spirit want? Why do they haunt places? It's scary to know these things exsist. Many people do not believe in this sort of thing but I know I do. I have had enough personal experiences to know that spirits do believe. I have been to the abandoned Pilgrim State Insane Asylum where I have seen dark showd move past windows. I have felt the cold wind wrap around my body during the mid of August, proving that a spirit was there, in the same room as me. Do you know how creepy that is? To know and feel someone dead in the same room or possibly right next to you? These facts scare the shit out of me but I still continue to find these spirits and experience all that I can. I know I may sound crazy (and I hope that this is wierd enough for you mike) but I believe my own house has spirits in it. One night I was asleep in my basement and I was awoke at three in the morning to my upstairs door open and slamming shut. It was freezing downstiars and this was yet again during the summer time. I then yelled to the spirits to cut the shit and they, believe it or not, ceased the slamming of the door. I know I may seem crazy but I swear it was real. Another time, I actually wanted to conduct a seance at mount misery to find out what spirits lurked there and my psychic aunt (she's really psychic believe it or not) called me screaming at me telling me not to mess with that shit because it can do much harm. She said it would open up another world, one to which causes harm and realeases harmful spirits. She told me they could possibly harm my family or even me and that I "better not f**k with that shit." It's obvious that I refused to want to listen to her so one morning, the morning that I planned to conduct the seance that night, I was getting ready for school and all of a sudden my perfume bottle randomly fell off my counter and smashed into a ton of pieces. I knew at that point it was a warning and that my aunt was right. It's kind of scary to have that stuff happen to you. Call me crazy but I believe in it all and love the thrill to be scared shitless. I actually have to make a trip to mount misery, kp, and even pilgrim sometime soon to see if I can find anymore. At one point in my life, one of my goals is maybe to investigate with TAPS atleast once. It would just be so incrediably cool to do that. Well now that I've unleashed some thoughts hidden deep down inside me, you can maybe see the truth about me and something i love to do. This is a real part of me that I do consider to be real and creative.

The Calm Before the Storm

The trees slowly dance
as the clouds vastly move
The sky is as shimmering and colorful
as the deep ocean blue
As the sun blinds my little eyes
I think
Who knows what is soon to come?

Who I am!

I am Julie. I am only 4'11 but this little person is hoping to one day change the world. I want to become a psychologist in order to help anyone and everyone. It is my destiny to help people since that's all I desire to do. I want to become the best psychologist there could ever possibly be in the world.

I come from the boarder of Seaford and Levittown and the high school known as Island Trees. Island Trees may not have the best reputation of the high school in the world, but I am above that. My hopes for the future is to graduate from college and, as said before, become a wonderful psychologist and help as many people as I can in the world. I hope to also get married to my boyfriend and begin a family with him. I desire to live in a huge house and be able to life the American Dream. One of my greatest goals that I have always had, is to own a 1969 Chevelle with a 454 in it, black with white racing stripes. I also hope to own many muscles cars as well as some imports such as the new gtr skyline. I absolutely love cars and hope to own many of them.

I also hope to be able to save as many dogs as I possibly can. I want to move out on a farm or somewhere that I can have tons of dogs. I am completely against animal cruelty including dog fighting and also uthenasia and hope to save as many dogs as I can. I volunteered at an animal shelter for sometime and took care of the homeless dogs there, including the many numbers of pitbulls there. That is one breed of dog that I must say that I adore more than anything. They are sterotyped as nasty dogs but that is something I must disagree with. All the pitbulls I worked with were the utmost friendliest animals that were terribly abused. That had to be the downside of working at the shelter, more than half of the dogs were victims of dog fighting. They were scarred all over their bodies and their ears were also cut down. I remember thinking how could someone do that to such a poor sweet animal? I never really thought that any human being was generally a bad person but the people who conduct dog fighting as a sport are in my opinion disgusting individuals. I really hope to save theres poor animals and prevent as many as I can from abuse and danager. They deserve to live happy lives just as much as we do. I really do hope to help pursue that one day and take in as many dogs as I can.

I also hope to have a wonderful family and give them everything possible like my parents have been able to provide for me.

I am me, the very quirky

Crazy
Fun and loving
individual who doesn't care what people think. This is the real me. This is who I am.

Get a clue?

I never realized how unintelligent people really are until now. They really need to get a clue and get a grip on life. I don't understand how they can actually get by in life with no freaking brain. The story behind this thought happened at work. Now a few of my co-workers, my one chill manager, and I were standing around today, bored out of our minds because business is slow. This one woman comes in and boy was she a trip and a half. She comes over to us and was all "I need to close my pool." Okay, so my one manager is standing there telling her there's only one thing she has to do with her size pool which is use the closing chemical we call "The Orb." The orb is a small football shaped plastic object that you put in the skimmer and let it run for a certain amount of hours. So she agreed to use it, since she claimed to have used it before, and asked the price of it. So the manager asked if she was a V.I.P. member (the membership if a free membership that gives you lower prices than the actual price in the store) and she had no idea if she was or not. She the manager simply told her she could find out at the register if she was when she went to purchase the items. So she started this whole big thing about asking at the register whether she was or not, which is completely ridiculous. He eventually walked away and let us deal with her. Then she wanted to know pricing. So the other girls working gave her the prices. It's $39.99 for non members, $24.99 for members. The girls must have told her the prices at least 6 times before she finally understood. Next she pulls out the circular or the key to savings and tried telling us she would get ten dollars off. Now the key to savings just reflects the price so it's pretty much the same thing as the membership. The girls just kept telling her it's $24.99 over and over but she refused to listen. Finally I went over to them and explained how it just reflects the price. I must have repeated myself 4 times until she finally got it. She then finally just walked away.

I don't understand what's so hard to get. Why do people need to be told repetitively the same thing. It's ridiculous that they just cannot comprehend it in one or even two times they are told. Customers like that make me just want to take the orb and throw it at them to knock some sense into them. Jesus.

The highlight of tonight that has really had me thinking is the good customers who actually listen to me when I speak and not doubt me. This one woman and her husband came in and one of the girls I work with went through the chemicals with her. She then went to the other side of the store for a winter cover. I went over by the registers to talk to some of the cashier which is in between the sales floor and my chemical side. The woman came up to me about ten minutes later and wanted me to explain the reason for using the chemicals my co worker gave her. So I basically went through everything including how for her to open up to a clear water pool come the spring time and told her about the cover she would need to buy. Now I am capable of selling covers but being that I am not a green shirt yet, I didn't want to take it away from the other salespeople. So I gave it to one of the really good salespeople for the easy commission (we get commission on the covers we sell, more money on the more expensive covers). The woman took my advice and listened to everything I told her about the chemicals and the purpose of the bubble and in the end, she bought the most expensive cover. She then walked up to the head manager and complimented me on my knowledge and how she wanted to rent me out for the day to close their pool. It's customers like that that I wish there were more of, none of theses stupid idiots who think they know everything when they really don't have a clue AT ALL. It really makes me wonder what's really happening to the world today. Who knows what's going to happen with our generation?

As for now, I'm done with my thoughts. Tomorrow will probably the passage of "Who Am I" for class. Then another one come possibly Sunday or Monday of some poetry, like what was written in class today or maybe something else I'll attempt to come up with.

First entry...

This is the first entry. I adore this class. It is so much fun and it it's just crazy. I am really looking forward to the rest of the semester taking this class.

I'm pretty bummed the summer ended though. I do love school but I just really wish it didn't end. When the summer ends, it seems like everything else ends; work ends, warm weather starts to end, being out really late on the weekdays end, not knowing what day it is ends, etc. It makes me really sad to think of it. The worst thing that ended is not seeing John everyday. It sucks so much not seeing him until later on at night. I can't stand it. I guess to look on the bright side of things, we get to see eachother at work. Even that sucks though because he's on one side of the store and I'm on the other. Ugh I hate that it's ended.

Anyways, the good thing is I get to work on my car. I want to make her faster. I want her to be able to fly. She's my baby girl and I gotta make her happy and treat her good so she treats me good. I finally got enough money to do what I can so James and I have been looking into some stuff. I got to get a new paint job though because her paint is fading away. It makes me so sad to see that. She's only seven years old and she's fading. People may think I'm crazy for talking this way but psh, I could care less. I love my baby girl =). I'm so psyched to work on her.

I think I'm going to take a visit up to my high school some point next week. I miss some of the teachers there, especially Warno and Ingy. I miss going to ninth period everyday and just hanging out and playing music. It's one of my most favorable things to do. I do miss hanging out with them too during my study hall.

On going Assessment